Who Gets Your Photos, Voice and Messages When You Die?

In 2022, people at a memorial asked Marina Smith questions about her life. She answered them. She had died weeks earlier, aged 87.

Smith was a Holocaust educator in England. Before she died, she recorded answers to many questions about her life. At her memorial, the system did not invent anything. It only picked the right clip for each question. Her son said it made her "present, in a sense." One detail matters: her son runs StoryFile, the company that made it (BBC). [Evidence: one case]

Now compare a case from Arizona. In 2025, a family played an AI video of Christopher Pelkey, who was killed in 2021. It was believed to be a first in US courts. In the video, he seemed to forgive the man who killed him. But his sister, Stacey Wales, had written the words. The judge said he "loved that AI."

On 30 September 2026, an Arizona appeals court threw out the 10-year sentence. It said the video showed "the imaginings of the victim's sister" (AP via US News). [Evidence: one case, court record]

Same idea. Very different outcome. The difference? One woman chose her own words.

So here is your question. When you are gone, who decides what your voice says next?

What happens to my Google account when I die?

Do nothing, and Google may delete your photos after two years of silence.

That is the rule. If you do not use any Google service for at least two years, Google may delete your account. That includes Gmail, Photos and Drive (Google). [Evidence: strong, official policy]

The fix is called Inactive Account Manager. You can give your photos to one child and your emails to another. Google can even send a last message for you.

Do it now: Google

• Go to myaccount.google.com/inactive.
• Choose how long Google waits before acting.
• Pick up to 10 people to receive your data.
• Choose which data each person gets.
• Have each person's email and phone number ready.

Who should get your photos? Is it the same person who should read your emails?

Apple has a stranger rule. Any one of your chosen people can wipe everything.

Who can open my iPhone data after I die?

Apple lets you choose a Legacy Contact. This is a person who can open your Apple account after your death (Apple). [Evidence: strong, official policy]

You can choose more than one. But Apple says any one of them can make decisions alone. That includes deleting all your data, forever.

To get in, they need two things: an access key you create, and your death certificate. They can see photos, messages, notes, files and device backups. They cannot get your passwords, which are stored in iCloud Keychain. They cannot get the music, films or books you bought.

Who would you trust to delete everything?

Do it now: Apple

• Settings > [your name] > Sign-In & Security > Legacy Contact.
• You need iOS 15.2 or later.
• Print the access key and keep it with your will.

Facebook gives your chosen person the same power. Most people do not know it.

What happens to my Facebook profile?

On Facebook, your legacy contact can delete your whole profile, at any time (Facebook). So choose someone you trust. [Evidence: strong, official policy]

After you die, Facebook can "memorialise" your account. This means your profile stays online as a page in your memory. Your legacy contact must be one of your Facebook friends.

Here is the strange part. If your profile is memorialised and you chose no legacy contact, nobody can change anything on it.

What your legacy contact can and cannot do

• Can: write a post that stays at the top of your page, accept new friend requests, change your profile picture, download what you shared (if you allow it), and delete the profile.
• Cannot: log in, read your messages, edit your old posts, or remove friends.
• Other choice: pick "Delete after death". Your account is then deleted completely, straight away.

Settings like these protect your accounts. But what about your voice?

Should I record my voice and stories now?

Bao Xiaobai, a singer in Taiwan, had only one recording of his late daughter. It was three sentences in English. He spent more than a year using AI to make a video of her singing "happy birthday" to her mother. "People around me think I've lost my mind," he said. "I want to hear her voice again" (Guardian). [Evidence: one case]

If your family had only three sentences of your voice, which three would you want?

You can make it easy for your family. Some people go much further:

• James Vlahos recorded 12 long talks with his father after a cancer diagnosis: 91,970 words. He turned them into a "Dadbot". Vlahos has said his son sometimes texts it (MIT Press Reader).
• Michael Bommer, who had cancer that could not be cured, recorded 300 sentences for his voice. He told 150 life stories. He called the result a memoir, not eternal life. "If it's used or not… I don't care," he said. "But I can leave it." His wife Anett said she would simply stop using it if it ever scared her (NPR).

[Evidence: one case each.] We do not yet know if AI versions help grief. But objects that help us remember a person, like photos, help some people grieve (Undark). [Evidence: early] A plain recording does the same job. It does not need AI.

Start small: open your phone's voice recorder. Answer one question: "What was the best day of your life?" Ten minutes. Done.

But any recording can also be used to build an AI of you. Do you want that?

Can I say no to an AI copy of myself after I die?

In most places, the law says very little. As psychologist Elaine Kasket says, "A person who's dead has no opportunity to consent [say yes], no right of reply and no control" (Guardian).

Strangers can do it too. In China, fans made AI videos of the late singer Qiao Renliang. His father said they "exposed scars". He said they were made without the family saying yes (Guardian). [Evidence: one case]

Do not assume your family wants an AI of you. In one UK poll from 2023, only about 1 in 7 people said an AI copy of a dead loved one would comfort them. Younger people were more open. A Christian think tank (a group that studies ideas) asked for the poll. Some people now write into their wills that their data must not be used after death (Guardian). [Evidence: one poll]

Would you want your child to hear an AI of you, or only your real voice?

Write your answer down. Answer three questions:

1. May anyone make an AI version of me? (Yes / No / Only my closest family)
2. Which material may they use? (Recordings I made on purpose, or everything?)
3. Who has the final say if my family disagrees?

That person can be the same one you choose as your healthcare proxy. Then tell your family what you wrote. Our guide on how to talk to family about end-of-life wishes has simple first sentences.

There is one more reason to protect your voice. Scammers want it too.

How do I protect my family from voice-clone scams?

The phone rings. It is your grandson, and he is in a panic. He says he crashed the car and is in jail. He needs money now. It sounds exactly like him.

This is the scene the US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) uses to warn families. The caller may be a scammer using a copy of his voice. The FTC says a short clip, for example from social media, can be enough (FTC). Back in 2022, Amazon showed Alexa reading a bedtime story in a dead grandmother's voice. It needed less than one minute of recording (TechCrunch). [Evidence: strong]

The FTC's advice:

• Don't trust the voice. Hang up. Call the person back on a number you know.
• Watch how they want money. Wire transfers, crypto and gift cards are warning signs.

Under that FTC warning, one grandmother left a comment. She had agreed on a secret question with her grandsons. Now, when a fake "grandson" calls and she asks it, the caller hangs up. [Evidence: one reader's comment, not FTC advice] A family code word costs nothing.

Does your family have a word that only you know?

Your digital afterlife checklist

Our estimate: about 20 minutes in total. The companies do not give timings.

1. Set up Google Inactive Account Manager.
2. Add an Apple Legacy Contact and print the key.
3. Choose a Facebook legacy contact, or "Delete after death".
4. Write your AI wishes: yes, no, or who decides.
5. Agree on a family code word.
6. Bonus: record one 10-minute story in your own voice.

Marina Smith's words were hers because she chose them while she could. You can still choose yours.

What is the one story you would want your family to hear in your own voice?

Grieving right now? Free support: findahelpline.com

Want it all in one place? Use the free End-of-Life Readiness check to see what is missing. Then store your accounts, wishes and recordings in the Complete Planning Library, so your family knows what you want.